


The Path

by Hellesofbelles (AmeliaIsmills)



Category: NCIS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-03
Updated: 2014-03-03
Packaged: 2018-01-14 11:08:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1264102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmeliaIsmills/pseuds/Hellesofbelles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony didn't take the path very often...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Path

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first of the work I have chosen to import over from Livejournal. I loved this fic, because at the time I wrote it I was going through some turmoil that was mirrored in this work.

It was not often that Tony found himself walking this path.

It was always early in the morning; earlier than anyone expected a playboy of his reputation to even get out of bed. He would park his car on the dividing line of concrete and grass. He would grab the two sets of flowers that he had stopped at a 24 hour convenience store to purchase. Finally, he would begin the short trek over the cold concrete slabs of angels and inscriptions. Every once in a while he would stop and clear off a block that was riddled with weeds. It wasn’t that he knew who that certain spot had been, but that he could not stand the idea of someone being forgotten and having no one while all the clean, shiny, and flower covered ones did.

He always wondered if there would be someone who did the same for him.

He would just be reaching his destination as the sun started to turn from its morning hues and into its bright yellow radiance. 

This is where his routine could go several different ways. 

The first time he had come had been while his boss had been lying halfway dead in a hospital bed. He’d come then to beg for them to give Gibbs back. The man was still needed by his team. Deep down it was his more selfish wish of not being ready to go throughout life without Gibbs there to help him stay steady and on track. 

The second time Tony came was after pulling his boss from a sinking car, along with a young woman who had been Gibb’s dead daughter’s best friend. Tony had never had to make such a hard decision in his life when faced with whom to save and give CPR to first. It had only been after he was sent home that he’d made the drive almost blindly and stumbled to the slabs. When he’d finally knelt down in between the two, his lungs burning and his heart hurting Tony once again repeated his need. That they still needed Gibbs, he still needed Gibbs.

The third time he’d made his way to them Tony had just come out of his long term covert op as Tony DiNardo and it was the first time he had been prompted to come for a reason other than Gibb’s disregard for his own life. He had begged then for them to forgive him for the deception he’d put Gibbs through. He had cried and talked about the entire mission and when he left Tony felt like maybe he was going to be okay again.

The fourth time had been when Director Vance had ordered him to Agent Afloat. Tony had packed his bags, gotten out of his apartment contract by donating his furniture, and driven the distance to visit again. This time he asked them to watch over Gibb’s six in his absence. He promised to return as soon as possible to take back up his self-appointed mantle.

This time he was visiting for a reason he had never even begun to fathom.

“So you know Gibbs was shot today. Just a flesh wound, but they were amazed at the fact that the guy missed anything vital. I know that had to be both of you and I wanted to come and thank you in person. I know it’s been awhile, but last year was so damn messed up and now…now, I just don’t know. Sometimes I feel like the team is healing and going in the right direction. It feels like family, but then sometimes I feel like we only have idle time, like everything is poised to blow up and fall apart. If we suffer another explosion then our team, our family, will be gone forever,” Tony sat and arranged the flowers as he stayed silent for a moment.

“Gibbs chose me last year when we were in Israel. He doesn’t know that I know that, but it wasn’t that hard to figure out. I was hurt by Ziva’s decision, by her betrayal at the time, but somewhere inside me I was pleased to know that Gibbs would choose me. The only thing is…I’m not sure he made the right choice. Not because I’m not a trained spy or any of that other bullshit…sorry…any of those other things, but because I don’t think I can continue like this much longer. I’m not going to leave NCIS, I’d never do that. I have to watch Gibbs’ six,” Tony took another deep breath.

“I probably sound like a moron babbling on like this. Thank God it’s just us. I think I’m going to have to find some way to disconnect from everyone. I’ve done it before with my parents, then with Jeanne, and I can do it again if I have too. Gibbs is getting to close and I don’t think I can keep him from the truth, Shannon,” Tony choked and lowered his head into his hands.

“What truth?” the brisk tone behind him made Tony jump up and swirl around so fast that he slipped on the damp earth and landed soundly on his bottom. He gaped at Gibbs in astonishment.

“Boss! What are you doing here?” Tony croaked, blushing deep red when Gibbs just raised an eyebrow and looked over his shoulder to take in the cleaned graves and fresh flowers.

“Ugh, I mean why…no, that’s not it…how long have you been here?” Tony babbled as he tried to get a hold of himself and scrambled to his feet. Panic was swelling up inside him like a shaken soda and Tony didn’t know how long he could hold it together without bursting.

Gibbs just continued to stare at him quietly and walked up just as softly. His arm was in a bandage and Tony noticed that it didn’t seem to be bothering Gibbs all that much, but then again nothing ever seemed to effect Gibbs when he was hurt. Tony’s eyes came back up to Gibb’s face and he quickly diverted them to Gibb’s chin instead of staring into the swirling blue eyes.

There was a maelstrom of emotion that Tony did not want to even begin to sift through in that direction.

Gibbs finally sighed and shifted past Tony to squat down beside Shannon and Kelly. He ran his hand softly across the tombstones and traced the outline of their names.

“Didn’t know who was coming, but knew somebody was. Daisies, dead by the time I came, but not from me. Joanne always brings carnations. I bring roses or bourbon depending on the occasion. Didn’t expect it to be you, Tony,” Gibbs voice was quiet, but Tony quickly took notice that the expected anger was not there. He just shrugged when Gibbs looked back up at him with a question in his eyes.

“Came the first time to beg them to let us keep you and that we needed you more than they did then,” Tony finally muttered and looked down abashed.

Gibbs looked up incredulously. He just stared at his senior agent for a long moment. He took in the hunched shoulders, haunted eyes, and desolate voice and tried to put together the pieces of this puzzle that he still did not completely understand.

“Came the second time when you almost drowned, the third to apologize for not telling you Jenny had put me undercover, and the fourth time when Vance sent me off to ask them to watch out for you. This is the fifth time,” Tony finally spoke again and then seemed to deflate before Gibbs eyes. Tony had looked down before, but now he looked down right defeated. Gibbs glanced again at his girls and raised his shoulders as if asking what to do. There was no forthcoming answer, but Gibbs felt the wind shift slightly and he tried to peer closer at the problem.

He’d arrived soon enough to see Tony start his trek through the grave yard and had been astounded as his agent stopped almost religiously every few yards. Tony would gently sit down the flowers he held and diligently clean off each grave. It seemed almost habitual and Gibbs had wondered then how often Tony had done it. Somehow, when Tony came to stand in front of the girls Gibbs had not been surprised. He’d stealthily snuck forward till he could hear Tony clearly and stayed to the shadows in wait.

When Tony had begun talking Gibbs just watched as Tony’s voice started to waver and when Tony finally hinted at some secret, Gibbs couldn’t stay hidden any longer. He would wait and watch Tony as long as Tony just babbled on, but he wasn’t going to steal a secret from someone he cared about as much as Tony. Someone he was just beginning to hope cared back.

“What truth, Tony?” he asked again and this time he maneuvered himself only inches away from the other man.

A slight tremor shook Tony, but he looked up and met Gibb’s stare head on. Gibbs was pleased when Tony seemed to come to some sort of internal decision. Tony continued to search Gibb’s eyes and set his shoulders back.

“I love you. Not like a son loves a father, or as a brother, or as a friend, I love you as in I want to kiss you and touch you and wake up next to you every morning for the rest of my life. It’s kind of scary, because I’ve never loved anyone for real before, never less my straight as lace ex-marine boss whose libel to shoot me at any moment. I don’t care anymore though, because the alternative to telling you is lying to you and I promised them I wouldn’t do that again. Not about big stuff,” Tony seemed to run out of air and Gibbs could see his chest rising as he gulped in a breath.

Gibbs gave him a few minutes to catch his breath before reaching out with his good arm and wrapping a hand around Tony’s wrist. He ran his thumb over the veins and relished the steady thrum of the faintly felt heartbeat.

“Boss?” Tony’s voice sounded uncertain.

“Not so straight as lace, Tony,” Gibbs finally murmured and pulled gently on Tony’s wrist.

Tony came against him easily, careful not to disturb his injured limb, and Gibbs leaned down and captured Tony’s lips in a tender kiss. When he pulled back Tony leaned slightly after him and Gibbs chuckled. Tony’s eyes shot open and he blushed. Gibbs just reached up and tugged lightly on a piece of Tony’s hair.

“Let’s go home,” Gibbs whispered. Tony nodded and stayed silent while Gibbs squatted down again and kissed his fingertips. Then he brushed his fingers over the graves one last time. He stood and wrapped his arm around Tony and led the way back to the cars.

“Gibbs?” Tony whispered after a moment of walking in companionable silence.

“I love you too, Tony,” Gibbs murmured in reply.

Tony smiled as Gibbs opened his door for him and shut it with a firm, “My house,” before heading for his own car.

Tony turned slightly at gave his own goodbye kiss to Shannon and Kelly.

“Thank you,” he added before starting the car to follow Gibbs to home and family.


End file.
